The Health Blog

THE VIRILITY SOLUTION: WHEN THE PILL IS SALVATION

If couples cannot talk to each other about the effects that ED is having on their relationships and their lives, they should seek psychological help. At the other end of the relationship spectrum are the majority of people I see. For them, the availability of the pill has prompted the most heartfelt and honest self-evaluations I have ever heard.

One of the most memorable examples of this was articulated by Janice, a forty-five-year-old woman who was about to be married for the first time when her fiance, Vincent, began to experience ED. They came to my office and Janice offered a keen insight into what kind of person she was and the bond she and Vincent shared.

“Vincent says that we should delay our marriage, that he’s having second thoughts and doesn’t want me to be saddled with a man who is ‘defective,’ “she said. “I’m trying to make him understand that, to me, he’s a hell of a lot more than just stud service. We’ve been together for two years. During that time we’ve traveled, met each other’s friends and family, and discovered what we like—and dislike—about each other. Then, last year, my mother became very ill. It was a very rough time for me and my family, and Vincent was there, every step of the way. And when she died, he gave me the kind of support I hope everybody gets at a time like that. I’ll never forget it, and I’ll never leave him when he needs my help.”

For Janice and Vincent, whose bond is based on growing together, the pill offers another opportunity to build on an already solid foundation. Because their self-esteem is not moderated by selfish motives, they can share the problem and revel in its solution. They are now happily married. The pills prescribed for Vincent have made a satisfying relationship that much better.

But what do you do if your partner won’t see a doctor?

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