Information on popular complementary and alternative medical topics

    ”Why am I always the one to start sex, to make the gesture or

the first step? I always do it. He responds most times, but I seem

to be the one who really wants it most. Why can’t he start it

sometimes? Why doesn’t he want me like I want him? Why is

his sex drive so much lower than mine?”

ANSWER: It’s not, because the issue is not sex drive at all. We have to refine this question before I can answer it. We have to find out what “always” means, we have to find out how you both feel beyond the actual sexual gestures, and we have to get more information on the differences between wanting, needing, interest, arousal, excitement, and other aspects of sexuality. Once we get all of that information, you may find that it doesn’t matter who starts it just as long as both of you enjoy it. You also will probably find that the entire sexual-response system changes over time, and your roles will change along with it. Overinterpreting what is happening now neglects the years of changes in sexual interaction that take place in marriage. That’s one of the advantages of marriage over other short-term sexual relationships. There is always time for change. Interpreting sexual motives and feelings is always dangerous. Remember the super sex rule that you will feel as you behave, so patterns of behavior can dictate feelings, and feelings can be changed by behavioral pattern change. Finally, remember that you are starting fresh, are going to be reintroduced to one another sensuously, so who knows what new patterns of invitation and recep-tiveness might develop. There is nothing wrong with either of you, but your system of interacting sexually can change in directions that both of you prefer. Look first at what is happening between you, not what might be going on within each of you. That’s where you can make the real progress that can actually change how you feel.

*238\97\8*

read comments (0)

I want to start this section by saying something very blunt. Once you have cancer in any part of your body, there is no way that that part can ever be completely normal again. If you have a cancer of the breast, that breast will never be completely normal again, regardless of what treatment you have. If you have cancer of the lip, your lip will never be completely normal again, regardless of what treatment you have. The same is true for every cancer site.

In my experience, the only people who are happy with reconstructive surgery are those who get answers to these questions beforehand and accept that the final result will not be a normal part. Don’t agree to reconstructive surgery unless your aims are realistic.

If you have your breast reconstructed because you want to be able to get dressed each day without having to fiddle with an external breast prosthesis, you may be very happy with the results of reconstructive surgery. If you have your breast reconstructed because you want to feel and look completely normal, you will certainly be disappointed.

Well, that has covered some of the important things you need to know about surgery—the type of treatment that is usually considered first for cancer. What other treatments may be recommended instead of, or after, surgery? Let’s look at radiation treatment next.

*253/40/1*

read comments (0)